Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Putting a Tally on Stress

Okedokey. It’s been a long, long while since I’ve blogged. A year of blogging has come and gone with narry a peep from me. “Why’s that?” you say. Well, not-surprisingly, as I have mentioned before, blogging about parenting is usually only possible when one is not in the very act of parenting. Now, as we all know parenting, in itself, can be considered quite time consuming (even more so when you have little-to-no support infrastructure in the guise of babysitters etc.) As such, time is usually at a premium even when things are going smoothly.

Well, around about late October I started to wonder why I was going flat out and not making any progress. I was throwing myself headlong at housework, child rearing and the job only to find at the end of the day (often usually well into the “am” of the next) I was barely holding ground. I was getting frustrated and exhausted and couldn’t figure out why. That is, until I sat down and took stock of the event roster.

What is an event roster you may ask? Well, this is something I had to come up with on the fly. Essentially I started doing an audit of my day-to-day life starting in August and working my way through to the present day. In this, I included anything within my life that did not include the regular day to day routine, ie: job, commute, housework, quality time at home with the kids, and general maintenance. Into this list I poured everything that didn’t fall into these categories. These included such things as events within the greater family dynamic, change of location for family members, medical emergencies, job changes, financial emergencies, in short: anything that ate away at the 24hrs a day in which I had to operate.

Now, this time could have been eaten up in various ways. Often it was a direct action on my part to solve or manage a particular event or task. In other cases it was taking over for someone else while they dealt with a specific issue. In all cases, though, it had to amount into hours to be counted with anything over eight hours being counted as a single day’s worth of “event response” Grand total? In a four month (122 day) period I have lost 85.5 days worth of time that under normal circumstances would go into the daily routine outlined above. Don’t believe me? Check it out.

Event Roster in days (in no particular order):


Thyroid operation for Jamie’s mom. 2
Taking care of Jamie’s mom and apartment. 5
Brother’s divorce. 1
Brother’s property sold. 1
Jen’s sister’s pregnancy. 4
Last minute 5-day working trip to Toronto IHC. 6
Finding new daycare for Jamie. 4
Finding new school for Jamie. 4
First day of school and subsequent fallout. 2
First day of daycare and subsequent fallout. 1
Giving up old daycare and school 2
Move Jamie’s mother’s apartment. 3
New job for me 2
New job for Jen 2
Visit #1 from Jack 4
Visit #2 from Jack 4
Jack’s visit for the month of August 10
Halloween 2
Thanksgiving 2
Carp Fair 1
Birthday Party #1 3
Birthday Party #2 3
Parent-teacher interview #1 and #2 .5
HR payroll issues 1
Jen’s grandmother hospitalized once 4
Jen’s grandmother hospitalized twice 4
Jen’s grandmother hospitalized thrice 4
Day trip to Omega Park 1
Dental abcess .5
Root Canal .5
Repair to failed root canal filling .5
Transit Strike 1
Winter storm .5

Total: 85.5

Four month period: 122


Now, in a few cases these events were considered positive (Omega Park for instance) however, they still take a way from the overall routine which is why they’ve been counted. The majority of these items, however, are to be considered either negative or at the very least stress-causing. For instance a new daycare might be (on the whole) a good thing but finding it, arranging interviews, payments, working out transport to and from, and helping your child deal with the stress of the move do cut into the overall routine, let me tell you.

So, there you have it. The reason for my silence revealed. As we come into the holiday period I do hope to get myself back onto a more regular schedule as positive oriented events aren’t quite as stressful or taxing on the overall system. Still, for all you parents out there, if you’re feeling bagged sit down and tally up what’s been happening in your life. You might be surprised at what you find
.

42 comments:

Christopher said...

What is a carp fair?

good to hear from you by the way!

B.A. said...

Chris, S'been too long. A Carp Fair, believe it or not, has nothing to do with fish. It is (in fact)one of the last of the decent country fairs in the Ottawa region. Sorry I haven't been blogging more. Just after I wrote the last blog the bus strike went into full swing. Average commute by car to downtown and back is betwenn 4-5 hours. So much for downtime.

afterfostercare said...

How did you get on the Nepean Bloggers website? I would like my blog to be entered there as well.

8847 said...

感謝大大的無私分享 讓小弟獲益良多 終於知道網上還有這麼多的好東西≧▽≦"
........................................

努力 said...

thank u........................................

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wonderful...................................................

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財榮 said...

路過--你好嗎..很棒的BLOG.........................................

孟軒 said...

完成一個小目標,會把自己推向一個大目標

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怡潔向霖 said...

you two make a lovely couple!............................................................

于呈均名 said...

Joy shared with others are more enjoyed.......................................................

batesda said...

沒有一件事情是好的或壞的,是想法改變了一切。 ..................................................

孝齊 said...

Many a little makes a mickle...................................................................

宇軒宇軒 said...

No pains, no gains...................................................................

彥安 said...

愛情不是慈善事業,不能隨便施捨。..................................................................

韋富 said...

好熱鬧喔 大家踴躍的留言 讓部落格更有活力.....................................................................

王婷珊 said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。......................................................................

江婷 said...

pleasure to find such a good artical! please keep update!!.................................................................

信豪信豪 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

啟均 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

雅莊王edgd春2蕙婷余惠其 said...

Hello~安安唷~很高興見到你哦!!............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

Readiness is all.............................................................

吳婷婷 said...

希望能有更多心得與我們分享~ ..................................................................

姿柯瑩柯dgdd憶曾g智曾 said...

愛情是一位偉大的導師,教我們重新作人..................................................................

陳佑發 said...

來替你打氣,加油A_A............................................................

錢靜怡錢靜怡錢靜怡 said...

It is never too late to learn.......................................................................

黃黃莉茹曉元 said...

真正仁慈的人,會忘記他們做過的善行,他們全心投入現在的工作,過去的事已被遺忘。..................................................

佩劉俊宇劉璇 said...

人類的聰明,並非以經驗為依歸,而是以接受經驗的行程為依歸。..................................................

李蔡文山家榮 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。............................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

Make hay while the sun shines...................................................

劉王育正劉王育正 said...

聰明人之所以不會成功,是因為他們缺乏了堅忍的毅力。.................................................

王辛江淑萍康 said...

第一忠誠,第二勤奮,第三專心工作。..................................................

凡柯柯豐柯柯柯 said...

成功可招引朋友,挫敗可考驗朋友......................................................................

瑰潼 said...

感動 + 感恩 + 感謝(。-ˍ-。 )..................................................................

wnjd said...

看到大家都留言-我也忍不住說聲---加油..................................................

王怡迪 said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。..................................................

石JaquelynS_Whitesi白 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。..................................................